Jokes
If you have any good jokes, click on the e-mail link at the bottom of the page and send them to me for posting here.
Yo Moma Jokes Doctor Jokes Yo Moma jokes from visitors.
Q - What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A - Wipe his arse.
Q - What do you call a man with no legs in the sea?
A - Bob.
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts.
A woman comes up to him and says, 'What are you supposed to be?'
The man says, "A premature ejaculation".
"What?" says the woman.
The man says, "I've just come in my pants."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
Answer phone message "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh*t before.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
Two elephants walk off a cliff...
boom boom!
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum, my dad or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled under by a strong currant.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
The police say that he topped himself.